A Toy Story Pixar Wouldn't Have Done!

Everybody who is really honest loves their childhood toys. There's a deep affection we carry with us throughout life, no matter how old we get. As I am about to have my first child I think of what toys she will grow up with. If we ever have a boy, I ponder ways that I could secretly convince my son to love my own childhood toys (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, G.I. Joe, My Pet Monster, etc.). Perhaps it is this affection for toys that has driven some movie producers to make films about them (though some less about affection than fear): Chuckie, Pinnochio, The Toy, and of course Pixar's Toy Story. With the exception of perhaps Richard Pryor's The Toy, Disney/Pixar's Toy Story is in a class of its own, and that is largely because of its storytelling. The guys at Pixar know well how to craft a good story. But in recent days there has been another major toy movie that is being hailed as the biggest summer blockbuster of 07, but you'll never see the Pixar name attached to this movie.

I am, of course, talking about Transformers. This nostalgic 80s cartoon has blasted its way on to the big screen with lots of promotion and lots of potential, but at the hands of director Michael Bay the autobots have autobottomed out! Sure there's lots of action, lots of explosions, lots of cool CGI...but its missing that one thing that any movie must have to be a success: story!

Bay had in his hands a movie that had the potential to be brilliant, culturally challenging, and surely fun. But he took that film, and with clunky dialogue, bad acting, and ridiculously fast plot development he has shoved an "all-spark" right into the heart of this story and blown it to pieces.

If it's not as bad as the 1986 Transformers' movie where Optimus Prime is killed off, then it is a close second in destroying a childhood favorite. Michael Bay has repeatedly been given good oppurtunities (Armagadeon, Pearl Harbor, Independance Day, etc.) and repeatedly dropped the ball. Perhas he could sit in on a few Pixar story board sessions and learn a thing or two. Until he does, though, I'll be avoiding his films like they're evil Decepticons!